After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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