We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
