How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
