Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i wish my penis had a tongue
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
