On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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