This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
