ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
