it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
