I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
