Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this just has baby written all over it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
