I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drunk is not a location!
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