I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do herpes really smell.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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