What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
