Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it

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(503): View more from Oregon

hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon

(1-503): View more from Oregon

all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis

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(352): View more from Florida

a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

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(206): View more from Washington

Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge

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(815): View more from Illinois

I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.

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