I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
