haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm both gender and math confused
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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