No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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