Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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