dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
