did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize