After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
