I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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