what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He keeps bees of course he's weird
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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