so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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