She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
