3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
