she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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