Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
