are you still at the devil's house?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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