I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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