OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
