We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
