I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
