How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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