Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize