it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
