but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
