It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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