you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
