who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize