You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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