Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
