im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
