somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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