I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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