please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
