Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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