Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
