in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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