I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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