Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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