They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
