I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Please, let me fuck your mom
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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