I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
